I am inclined to say that I have writer’s block. But I don’t. I have too many things to write and they’re getting all jammed up inside my head, so many things and I don’t know what to put into this blog and what to keep to myself… so we’ll start with an update and end with the chicken.
I was recently diagnosed bipolar. Let’s go ahead and put that out there. Many people who know me do not think that this is correct. Because, mania can look like motivation to someone not inside my brain. I have generally used mania to get things done. I ride the waves of my mood swings. Get as much work done as I can when I am up and then force myself to do the bare minimum for survival when I am low. This blog was started during a manic phase. Many things get started in a manic phase and don’t often get finished. I am committed to this blog because I love to write, and I love to share my precious Jerah with others.
Jerah came home from his four month stay at the state psychiatric facility on June 30, 2020 and we have been doing fairly well at home together. Thank God for that, because he was getting VERY aggressive before he went into the hospital (I will write on that whole story soon) and we have no in home services yet. Between the pandemic and insurance issues, we are going the course on our own right now. Behavioral therapy is slated to start soon, fingers crossed and prayers going up that it does start SOON.
I was supposed to return to work today, but with no in home support, that was not possible. I am not sure what to do if we do not have in person school in the fall. I adore my career and I love the company I work for (it is a Christian non-profit, so we are FAMILY) but I may have to take a leave of absence and draw unemployment to care for my son.
Just Jerah is doing really well! We have been painting and playing Bingo and playing our Animal Crossing New Horizons games on our respective Nintendo Switch game systems and taking very fast walks around the neighborhood. And hammock swinging. Jerah’s new favorite thing. I use my hammock for lying around. My sensory seeking Jerah uses his as a swing!
I have directed my manic energy towards digging all of the shrub stumps out of our back yard. Actually, the area that you see our hammocks in used to be a back yard forest. I cleared that entire area out by myself using loppers and a hand pruner. And now, I have been digging out around the shrub stumps and cutting the roots and brushing the remaining in ground root with brush killer. Fifteen shrub stumps down, 20 some to go… but it has been good for my racing, anxious, wild mind. Getting my hands in the dirt is a very good grounding experience… pun intended.
One of our friends sent Jerah a new chicken for his small but growing chicken collection.
The Chicken Collection began with one chicken… the white one there in the middle with the metal legs. We were at Hobby Lobby buying canvases to do some more painting probably about a year ago. Jerah went skipping away from me, super excited, his “happy hands” flitting madly as he literally skipped down the aisle. I followed him, curious. He gingerly lifted this chicken off the shelf and looked at me, hopeful, “Chicken?” he asked, so sweetly. This kid knows how to get what he wants from momma, that’s for sure. We bought the chicken and he carried it with him for a week.
So, one day, I was not feeling well and a friend messaged and asked how I was doing. I took a selfie to send, showing my misery. When I looked at Jerah in the back ground of the photo, I almost choked from laughing so hard.
I will end on that happy note. A boy and his chicken. 😀